A-Z Suicides: Chastity Smith

Of all the suicides I have planned for this month so far, it’s this one that I’m most unsure of its reception. In addition to the usual warning of suicide and depression that will blanket this month, I also wish to warn you that this story will be unfavorable to anyone who does not like to see religion portrayed in a negative light.

I just want to give a disclaimer that I do not condone any of the behavior, narrator’s or her parents’, in this story. I also do not believe that religion, Christianity specifically, is always like that. I am, however, aware that there are some individuals out there who would take their beliefs to this level, and beyond, because that is what their interpretation of the Bible tell them to. This story was more inspired by the dark side of religious orders, and the catch-22 of suffering from depression under such an order (God’s love should be enough to cure you! You can’t admit you’re feeling these feelings, or be seen in a light of shame, but the only other escape is also a sin. You’re trapped, and will lose your bid for heaven either way). I do not personally believe it should be like this, but I’ve met many people who do see it this way, and for that I am sad.

Anyway, if you don’t find the content of this short story an off-put, then I hope you enjoy it, and will stick around for my continuing journey through the heart and mind of the suicidal teen!

 

Dear Heavenly Father, forgive me for I have sinned. I have ended the life of one of Your precious creations prematurely.

I am sorry for my transgressions, but I am sure You will understand my reasons. It was a creature who is made better through her death. A pitiful creatures who was already withering under the blinding light of Your glory. Therefore, please see that I was not doing so out of malice. I did so out of pity. Because of this, I pray that You will give reprise to her poor soul once she is in Your arms.

I am sure You know all about the pain she has suffered in this world. She tried to be a good girl, she really did. But, Your plan for her just did not seem to include giving her a break. Her prayers always got jumbled at dinner. Her gown tangled underfoot as she tried to acolyte. She spilled the wine on her pretty new dresses during communion. And, I am sure You did not see it as and big issue, in Your infinite knowledge and glory. Your children, however, are not always so knowledgeable.

The poor creature could find no peace from her suffering. Could they not see that her embarrassment was punishment enough? Could they not see that she was sorry, that it was an accident? That she was only human, and therefore made mistakes? No, they could only see how imperfect she was, how ungodly an image she portrayed in her posture. They yelled at her, sent her to bed without dinner. They made her feel so small. So worthless. So unworthy of the love she was told you held for all…

But, she tried, Father. Oh, she tried. She did everything she was told. She didn’t stay after school with the children her parents considered heathen. She held fast to the teachings her family gave her, even when she knew they were wrong. She tried to be a good Christian…a good daughter…a good girl… And, she was alone. But, she smiled through the pain. As long as she had God and Jesus by her side, what use were friends? What use was happiness…

But it was never enough. No matter what good she did on her own, she always managed to make some mistake in their eyes. She was never good enough. She would never be good enough. No, not ever, not to them. She began to wonder, what use was it to them to have a daughter when she was such a disappointment to behold? Perhaps…perhaps if she could not do anything right, she would do one final wrong, in order to free them from their disappointment forever. She would commit one final sin, in order to end her own suffering.

Father, I ask that You forgive me, as I slip this rope around my neck. I did my best to be good in Your eyes, but I guess that is not enough in this world. If you cannot be perfect, what use are you to the world at all? I pray that You will welcome me into Your arms as I pass through Your glorious gates. But, I do not blame you if you turn me away. I am sure my hideous soul will have already decided that long before this final mistake manifested in my head.

Amen…

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Picture it & Write: A Grim Consequence

I apologize that my PI&W contribution is a bit on the long side this week, in comparison to many of my other contributions to flash fiction challenges. Although I could easily shorten this story down a bit by making it a bit more vague, though, I don’t really want to. I don’t feel like it would be the same story without the details and narrator’s little verbal flourishes. My giving the narrator free reign to give the full account, I feel if make the story more memorable. Perhaps you will disagree, and you’re free to do so. All I ask is that you keep your criticism to a constructive and polite tone. After all, you never know who may be on the other side of your responses. 😉

This story carries a language warning, and a disclaimer that the views and attitudes of the characters are of no relation to those of the writer. I hope you enjoy!

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Pig Week: A Rocky Reunion

Continuing from yesterday, I decided to write what happened next, thanks to the mix-up with Aria’s unwelcome match. I have to admit, this scene is one I’m looking forward to writing for real someday. It’ll be wonderful to get to it, and know all the major conflicts are over for them. That doesn’t mean there lives are perfect, mind you, but the problems after this are mostly doable. Mostly.

Anyway, as to be expected, having Sokola there added an extra layer of fin to this scene, and fixed a couple of problems Wren encounters in the real version. Specifically, making sure they get home while Mama’s reconnecting with Daddy. *wink wink* Enjoy the story, everyone! And I look forward to seeing you the last 2 days of the week.

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Pig Week: The Four Little Knights

Somewhat inspired by one of Sabrina’s Pig Week posts last year, I decided to write a version of the three little pigs with the Knights as the stars, while also parody how utterly uncontrollable characters can get after you’ve had them for a while, and writing them become such second nature that they pretty much live independently of your desires and do what they want, even when it messes up your plot line. To some, this story may seem a mess, but life’s a mess sometimes, you know? And anyone who thinks this is unrealistic definitely needs to spend some time with a bunch of stubborn, sometimes neurotic (Raizha…), characters having free range in your head and the mutual chat space you share with your equally-crazy friend. Things much worse than this have already happened. Some of my prior posts can attest to this fact.

Given how obvious something like this is, when you have 3 characters (not counting the new baby in the family) that refer to each other as pigs, plus a character who’s a natural antagonist who is leader of a group called the Wolves, I probably could have written this without the post she made last year but, you know, the picture she drew makes a good illustration for the story. : P Anyway, Raizha, Sokola, and our Special Guest belong to Sabrina over at Ticket to a Thousand Worlds. This story is rated T for language, violence, and Raizha. Now, without further ado…

The Three Four Little Knights and the Big Bad Raizha!

Pig Week image of characters as the three little pigs an the big, bad wolf

Image property of Sabrina. Go look at her blog, too!

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Friday Fictioneers: Dreamers of the Desert

I never thought I’d see the day, but I finally managed to come up with something happy for Friday Fictioneers! And, in light of that, I wrote about two young people finding something that even today’s adventurers are trying to find, though with much lower stakes. While attempting to not give it way, I thought of the last line for this story the moment I saw this weeks picture. And, I have the basic setting in my mind, since the image in my mind could only occur in this sort of world. The challenge, however, was making them believable and interesting in only a hundred words. I’ll let you be the judge of whether I pass or fail.

Also, I hope the ‘characters with bad grammar’ thing isn’t too annoying. As an excuse that only a fellow writer can understand, they refused to talk any other way, no matter how much I asked them to at least try to enunciate better.

FF 12

Dreamers of the Desert

“I’s just a myth.” Toby insisted. “Like forests. Jus’ a story the ‘dults made up.”

“Me uncle says it exists.” I insisted. “Said he found it on the way ta the Great Pond. Only a day’s walk, he says.”

“Yer uncle’s a liar! Ain’t nothin’ in the Desert. We gonna die out here, lookin’ fer fairy tales.”

“Not much further…” I whispered, as we rounded some more dunes.

Then, I stopped. Before us stood crumbling spindles and the remains of villas. It must have been beautiful, when it was inhabited. Even my partner paused.

“Welcome to Atlantis, Toby.” I whispered.

An Accidental Fictioneers Story

Some people might be wondering why I’m posting two stories, two days in a row, in the same week. There’s an interesting behind it, actually. You might have noticed I posted a day later than usual this week. That is because I’ve gone to my aunt’s house to visit with relatives the past two nights as soon as I got home from work. So, I didn’t have my computer with me Wednesday night to check the blog and write my story. I tried to, though. Unfortunatly, my Google search for Rochelle’s blog gave me an old post instead of this weeks, so I didn’t realize until after I had written my story for this week that the picture was from back in November. But, the story was written, and I liked it, so I wanted to post it anyway. Luckily, this happened the same week as my 10th story, so I decided to use it as an impromptu celebration

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Friday Fictioneers: No Refunds

I don’t have much of a intro for this week’s story. But, I am pleased to announce that today is my 10th Friday Fictioneers! I admit, it hasn’t been ten consecutive weeks, but it was none the less ten weeks total of stories in exactly 100 words. It has been great, and I hope to be with you all for many weeks to come. 🙂

FF 10

No Refunds

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