Today, I decided to delve into a different aspect of depression: the voices in your head that you never seem able to escape. From what I’ve seen, everyone assumes that people who attempt or commit suicide have some sort of horrible life or an outside source that is directly causing their problems. And, many times, that’s completely true. But other times, it’s just the right mixture of low self-esteem and a few off-hand remarks that stuck a little more than they were meant to. Even when a person has the best support system possible, the voices in their head that tell them they’re being lied to or that they’re not worth the worry and care the people around them are giving them. And some sort of bad past, such as bullying or a less-than-supportive family member can be the catalyst, but there are plenty of times when the source is to far away from the current time to be traced with any accuracy. The voices, however, are still there, always bringing up the dirty laundry that you tried so hard to bury under happier memories and good intentions.
As a writer, creativity is important to me. But, far too often, the line between madness and genius is extremely thin. Sometimes, I wonder if that line actually exists. Either way, almost every creative genius meets opposition from somewhere, some sort of experience where somebody doesn’t see that genius within the madness until later. That was the inspiration for this story…in addition to this week image for the wonderful Friday Fictioneers, of course. Enjoy!
I’m very attached to my friends. I actually got the idea for this story because my one friend wasn’t at breakfast (which we usually go to together) on morning, and I had woken up in a really blechy mood. It probably also didn’t help that I had had a nightmare two night prior that something had happened to her. So, I sat at breakfast, staring out the window, thinking about what it would be like if my best friend had died, and my mind had been blocking it out. From that, this story was born. And, here’s to hoping I never have to actually deal with anything like what the girl in this story does, because I doubt I would do very well with it. Enjoy!